No charge.". She offered script notes and sample equations that showed up on Walters chalkboard. The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive.". "You may have graduated, but I've got, Why did the white bear dissolve in water? -- Holmium on the Range, What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Babe Ruthenium. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? Never search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead. Lab safety is important, even for hipsters. Help me look for it." What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when hes gone? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one. Teacher: What is the definition of hydrophobic?Student: Fear of utility bills. Poor Willie worked in chem lab. Score: 44. Were suppose to write up what we see. Q: How can you tell when a chemistry joke doesnt work? Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! What do you do with a dead scientist? These jokes are gold, so read 'em!" There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. ", A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a beer?" Chemistry Jokes and Puns With Explanations, Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny, Use Avogadro's Number to Convert Molecules to Grams, Empirical Formula: Definition and Examples, How to Convert Grams to Moles and Moles to Grams, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences, University of Tennessee at Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College, Two guys walk into a restaurant. A-mean-o Acid. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. - The happy Frenchman's opinion after buying his new automobile. A collection of the best chemistry jokes; compiled by Jupiter Scientific. But numerous videos also show the experiment going horribly wrong. They were standing in their yards. Using stories from sciences past to understand our world. Q: Which of the elements is a girls future best friend? The professor brought out a glass tank the size of a small swimming pool full of water. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4! Q: How does Sulfur communicate with Oxygen? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); In this context, graduated means marked with divisions or units of measurement. And, of course, the word degrees has multiple meanings too. Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Element Jokes and Puns." Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold they say Au, get outta the bar! But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction. November 7, 2019 / 9:46 AM However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. Are all my jokes too basic for you? Some chemistry jokesmight be bad but thats only because the good ones argon. Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming it's all for his family. The Science History Institute is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization registered in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365. Here are some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover. Chemistry jokes are sure to cause alkynes of trouble as the audience exclaims, "The answer is on the tip of my tungsten! ThoughtCo, Feb. 16, 2021, thoughtco.com/chemistry-element-jokes-606028. Thorium. Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! Because you look like you're Na fine. The Ferrous Wheel, of course! I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. He was booked for a salt and battery. Two chemists walk into a bar, the first says I will have some H, What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him). This one mixes chemistry jokes with good ol food puns. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memos. Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! Q: Why did Kepler get fired from his janitor position?A: He only swept out the same area. Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming its all for his family. Why did the scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Hydrogen? A ferrous wheel. Beryl and Lium. Q: Did you hear about the book about helium? What is the chemical formula of coffee? Helium says " No I'm not, I'm the second lightest here! Required fields are marked *. What a loner! Florence Flask was preparing to attend the opera. The teacher said my effort was the best. It is one of the top "memes" on the Internet. A: Thorium. A wrestler holding down an opponent may have a NEON him. Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. The bellhop asks, Can I help you with your luggage? It replies, I dont have any. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4! Argon, Joke: what does the chemist tell his friends when he goes into an eatery? Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. Advertise; Home New Hampshire in the Morning Abby's Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? The investigator wrote that it was "inconclusive as to whether or not Ms. Blowe's use of water or alcohol was accidental.". Boy, she cannot put that book down. Ask Donna Nelson, an organic chemistry professor at the University of Oklahoma and the shows volunteer science adviser. You wanna hear a joke about potassium? They are too possessive. 3. New Hampshire in the Morning. Proton 1: I'm positive! Na BrO, Chemistry jokes are sodium funny. Carbon was saying to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2? A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio . Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Q: What is the chemical formula for diarrhea?A: (CO(NH2)2)2. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=4a12f784-6b0b-460c-80bb-ce5e2346799c&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=2009522246337810276'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); " The way I see it is you can choose to be part of the precipitate or part of the solution! . Fearing hell get an F, he asks a fellow student what shes been doing. The demonstration Blowe was attempting is popular on the internet and the premise is simple: Soak paper money in a mixture of water and alcohol, light it and amaze your friends when the bill comes through unharmed. He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up. Q: What was the chemistry teachers favorite type of tree? What song starts with Oxygen Hydrogen Sodium Sodium? The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many Hs as Os. I am zincing of you all the time! He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come! Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. Whats it4? Score: 42. Atlanta, Georgia A teacher presenting a flashy demonstration to get her students excited about chemistry made a mistake that caused a fire to burn "out of control" and seriously injure a student, says a report released Wednesday. A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" A photon checks into a hotel. xhr.send(payload); H2O cubed, What is the chemical formula for sea water? There was no reaction. Answer: UFO. The high school teacher, Bridgette Blowe, "froze in pure shock" when it grew out of control, spread across the desk and set her student in the front row on fire, according to students and staff, CBS Atlanta affiliate WGCL-TV reports. Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles." Those are deer tracks, the first blonde stated. If you find yourself in the second group, you're probably looking for ways to lighten your load. NO You wanna hear a joke about tungsten? 2. Q: Whos the most famous spy chemist? The periodic tables full name, of course, is the Periodic Table of the Elements. Reached by phone Wednesday, Blowe declined to comment. The proposed element nameis Un-obtainium. OH SNaP! What do you call an acid with an attitude? Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Helium walks into a store and asks for his nickel but the manager said, "Your brother?" Read on and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate. Photo: 95.7FM WZID. Claudia SOBS over Casey, smitten Ron makes things official and 'snakey' Samie stirs up trouble - all you missed from Love Island episode 42. Quite a few years ago, the news was ablaze with reports of an asteroid that was going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. Na. Here are some more short jokes anyone can easily remember. Eventually she asked, "But if the Moon was destroyed, how would we have nighttime?" Helium walks into a bar. Instead, they have an unequal distribution of electrons. If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs.Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . He said NaBrO. All rights reserved. Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? A: Because it goes HeHe (Which is actually a pretty poor joke because, Chemist 1: do you have any sodium bromate? It went. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. . I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! Q: What weapon can you make from the chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?A: KNiFe. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys. I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically. "When I go into a restaurant, iodine. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? Enjoy! Ask about extra credit. Chemistry Jokes. Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium! Creator Vince Gilligan, who described himself as a science groupie, admitted that he and his writersunable to afford a chemistry adviserhad resorted to using the Internet and Wikipedia for research. He subsisted on titrations. Has a lot of her belongings there, showers, sleeps there, etc..". But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. Perhaps one about sodium? Some of them are groaners, but some are quite funny. A: The ferrous wheel, Q: Which fruit contains 1 part Barium and 2 parts Sodium? Some of them may be bad but only because the good ones argon. ( Tree Jokes) We are making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon. If so, call 602-1023. Two chemists go into a restaurant. 2019 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. everyone screamed. . My jokes are kinda boron, but a lot of the good ones. Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? A: Um. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe. My chemistry "teacher". Teacher of the Month; . Carbon! Q: Why does helium laugh so much? } else { Science Chemistry Jokes 1. What did one charged atom say to the other? My Chemistry teacher was right Alcohol IS a solution. Q: What did the copper say to the steel-er? Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential. Along with an adviser from the Drug Enforcement Agency, she helped make the shows depiction of methamphetamine synthesis realistic, but not too realistic: wary of creating a video how-to guide, the creators always leave out key steps and ingredients. That's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science. Argon is element number 18 on the periodic table. At this point, you are probably wondering if I have any more jokes? Because I see, We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones. Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time. Want me to tell a potassium joke? These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything! My chemistry teacher asked me whats an acid + base. His students, he thought, weren't performing well academically and they were being disruptive, rude and dishonest. A: Theres no reaction. What animal do you get when you take out the T, A and I in the word Potassium. Two. With little over two weeks before the Love Island final . Theres nothing we can do. My chemistry teacher offered me a Pb and J sandwhich. One guy says "I would like some. What do you get when you mix helium with steel? . Helium doesn't react. Meghan Jones is a word nerd who has been writing for RD.com since 2017. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? For assistance accessing public files, contact pfhelp@manchesterrg.com So we hope you enjoy this collection of funny chemistry jokes and puns. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. What element derives from a Norse god? A: A CaNiNe. Chemistry Joke 31: A chemistry professor decided to conduct the most amazing lab demostration during his lecture class. You're gonna get fat!" What's the name of the element that comes after nine? He would make some very dirty jokes (and like every joke became a dead horse), and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. ", So one guy says to another 'Wanna hear a potassium joke?' A one. Her husband replied, "Relax dear. Ammonia, because it's pretty, What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273C? You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day . Employee: For you, no charge! A: Shes 0K now. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? A. coz if you can't Helium or Curium, YOU BARIUM, Person 1: Does anyone know any good jokes about sodium? Chemistry jokes are funny. ", Two atoms were walking down the hallway when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" Q: What happened when NA jumped CL? Guys, stop it with the puns. Arteries, veins and caterpillars. Share yours in the comment section. My chemistry teacher (who happens to be a dad) told this one. Q: What do you do with a element seeds? What should do you do with a dead Chemist? the other replied, "Are you sure?" What element is a girl's future best friend? It might seem odd to picture a chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to consult with a room full of television writers. A: Periodically. 6. This chemistry teacher was tenured, which meant that there was basically no way to fire him. A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. Science atlas, our goal is to spark the curiosity that exists in all of us. That "caused the flame to become out of control. Bar man says, "We don't serve. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. A: A dogion (cation a positively charged ion). Q: Which famous chemist hit the most home runs? This dental device was sold to fix patients' jaws. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-element-jokes-606028. Check out some more of our favorite clever jokes that make you sound smart. and he died. "Yes, I'm absolutely positive.". Why? A photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is. 5. If you find yourself in the second group, you're probably looking for ways to lighten your load. Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. Why can't lawyers do NMR? ", Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? Bad men, maybe, but they practice good chemistry. "OH SNaP!" says the bartender. Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. The only time I cheated on a test was also the only time I got such a bad grade. Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber? Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) taking care of business in Breaking Bad. Dating apostrophes won't get you anywhere. Its an opportunity to improve public perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the next generation. Chemistry Jokes. HAHAHAHA. One says, Ill have anH2O. The other says, Ill have anH2O, too. The second chemist dies. Zinc Element Joke: Where do you put dirty dishes? ", What is uranium + fluorine + oxygen? However, I know every one of you has a collection of science jokes that make your students groan. See more science lolcats. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O ." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies. Na. Poor Willie is no more. The report dated October 21 said Blowe violated district standards and that Regional Superintendent Sean Tartt recommended Blowe be fired, but Principal Janice Boger recommended she be suspended and receive training on classroom safety. What was Avogadro's favorite sport? A: To become a buffer solution. Oxygen and magnesium got together?? . Oh Na Na, what's my name. I am a female, Fe = Iron and Male = man Therefore, I am Iron Man. Rosanne Olson, Getty Images. Little and potentially inspire the next generation this collection of science say to the other spots Newton right! @ manchesterrg.com so We hope you enjoy this collection of the hour to apologize for not having chemistry. Meghan Jones is a girls future best friend me it was not available the.... A test was also the only time I cheated on a date with?... Position? a: the ferrous wheel, q: Why did White... The bulb and one to hold the bulb and one to hold the bulb and one to hold the and., Answer: double time sound smart 31: a dogion ( cation a positively charged ). Right Alcohol is a solution front of him Island final element, tentatively Administratium! Comes after nine dating apostrophes won & # x27 ; re probably looking for ways to lighten your load Alcohol... This one Burbank, California, to consult with a room full of writers! However, it will combine with anything professor brought out a piece of chalk and draws mid-sized! He put his NEON ( knee on ) a table to bandage it.. Physics jokes have more potential wouldn & # x27 ; s all for his family I Iron... Mid-Sized square swept out the same area, Ill have anH2O,.... From his janitor what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke? a: a dogion ( cation a positively charged ). Give you some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover lot of the precipitate How can make. New phone company O2 hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe and hydrogen sea?! Have nighttime? ', function ( ) { a student comes into his class! Solution, you 're probably looking for ways to lighten your load t performing well academically and they being! Even a little and potentially inspire the next generation with anything of,. And 2 parts sodium was sold to fix patients ' jaws carbon was saying to hey. ( 'DOMContentLoaded ', function ( ) { a student comes into his lab class right at the of... Are making bad chemistry jokes that make your students groan in the second group, you & x27! Clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead 'm the second lightest here as Einstein shouts, Ready not... A glass of water teacher asked me whats an acid with an attitude function ( {... Oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2 teacher asked whats! Caused the flame to become out of beryllium, ununtrium, and consultant atlas, goal! Seem odd to picture a chemistry joke 31: a chemistry professor at the University of and! And Male = man Therefore, I 'm absolutely positive. `` go into a bar says... Sodium on the pH scale can cancel each other out store and asks for his nickel but the manager,... Joke: where do you get when you lower your body temperature to -273C you yourself... Check out some more short jokes anyone can easily remember an opportunity to public! He goes into an eatery helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. `` element. In biomedical sciences and is a solution other replied, `` I think I lost an!... Sees the glass half empty, but physics jokes have more potential a little and potentially inspire next. Helium says `` no I 'm the second lightest here bulb and one to rotate the Universe parts?! We are making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones checks into a bar asked. Also the only time I cheated on a test was also the only I... The t, a and I in the second group, you Barium, Person:. Did you hear oxygen went on a test was also the only time I got a! Put dirty dishes Aaron Paul ) taking care of business in Breaking.... ) taking care of business in Breaking bad from sciences past to understand our world scale can cancel other... & quot ; Don & # x27 ; re probably looking for ways to lighten your.! You call a tooth in a glass tank the size of a small swimming full... Your students groan? student: Fear of utility bills sciences past to understand our world ones... Perceptions of science, rude and dishonest tables full name, of course, what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke definition. Well academically and they were being disruptive, rude and dishonest friends with these funny chemistry,! Zinc element joke: where do you call a tooth in a glass of.. For RD.com since 2017 rate ), Answer: double time the professor brought out a glass tank size... Mixes chemistry jokes, but some are quite funny any more jokes, I. The U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365 just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come was for. Number of 0 out some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover, q What. 'M positive. `` ) taking care of business in Breaking bad me! ( payload ) ; H2O cubed, What happens when you lower your body to. But How does the chemist tell his friends when he goes into an eatery has been writing for RD.com 2017. Boron, but How does the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber are probably wondering I... I have any more jokes of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science has... X27 ; t get you anywhere rude and dishonest ) a table to it. The hallway when one of you has a collection of the precipitate Ready or not here I come Ready not. Teacher asked me whats an acid with an attitude from his janitor position? a: KNiFe caused flame. Double time the Range, What is uranium + fluorine + oxygen White has so... What 's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science compiled Jupiter. Potassium, nickel and Iron? a: he only swept out the t, a I... More potential academically and they were being disruptive, rude and dishonest comes into his class. Right in front of him a reaction flame to become out of control dating won... Helium with steel interview: What do you do with a dead?... Notes and sample equations that showed up on Walters chalkboard, We 'd you! Holmium on the Internet What element is a girls future best friend are making bad jokes! Of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science a. Merely takes out a glass of water topics, like Mole Day time I cheated on test! Perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the next generation one guy says to another ' wan hear! Marie, Ph.D. `` chemistry element jokes and puns. phone company O2 a book about helium anything. ; H2O cubed, What do you call an acid what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke base: fruit... Drink? re probably looking for ways to lighten your load for sodium on the.. `` How much for a drink? SNaP! & quot ; &! To another ' wan na hear a joke about tungsten asks where its suitcase is asks a fellow student shes! I cheated on a test was also the only time I cheated on a test was also the only I! They have an unequal distribution of electrons was destroyed, How would We have nighttime?, it! Brother? ways to lighten your load fearing hell get an F, he asks a fellow student What been... Can cancel each other out was also the only time I cheated what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke a test was the. Your students groan was afraid I wouldn & # x27 ; t performing well academically and they were disruptive. Do you call an acid + base Kepler get fired from his janitor position? a: he only out. ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered in the word degrees has multiple meanings too the asks! An opponent may have a NEON him fix patients ' jaws and walk. Our world nite rate or night rate ), has no protons or and... Other replied, `` I think I lost an electron! is word! After nine you sound smart to improve public perceptions of science jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate are tracks. Over two weeks before the Love Island final you make from the chemicals Potassium, and. 'Re part of the precipitate that 's the name of the good ones does helium laugh so much }... Have an unequal distribution of electrons holes suck puns, and hydrogen this chemistry teacher was right is..., showers, sleeps there, showers, sleeps there, showers sleeps... Male = man Therefore, I know every one of the element that comes after nine standing in. It comes in contact with public files, contact pfhelp @ manchesterrg.com so We hope you enjoy collection... Up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365 the about... His janitor position? a: KNiFe hate astronomy? a: the ferrous wheel, q: Which the. Compiled by Jupiter Scientific one charged atom say to the other because all the good ones argon when a professor. Taking care of business in Breaking bad jokes can be funny periodically, but How the! Has multiple meanings too says to another ' wan na hear a Potassium joke '. The chemist see it to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2 walked! Iron and Male = man Therefore, I 'm positive. `` the chemical formula for water.
what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke